Elize About Faith

As I’ve been decluttering my home recently, I came across an old journal. Tucked away in its pages were notes I had written shortly after arriving in the UK.

I was in my early twenties. I’d never left my homeland before and had never even been on an aeroplane. Everything was unfamiliar, uncertain and, at times, overwhelming. Yet through it all, I held on to something greater than my fears—my faith and trust in God.

A few pages later, I found another journal entry written about six months afterwards. The tone had changed completely. I was angry and disappointed because life seemed to be unfolding in the exact opposite way I had imagined. I hadn’t come to the UK with unrealistic expectations, but I had come with hope for a more fruitful life. Slowly, almost without noticing, my faith became shallow. Ironically, the very faith that had brought me to this place was the faith I gradually drifted away from.

Looking back now, I can see that my greatest struggle wasn’t adapting to a new country—it was learning to trust God when life didn’t make sense. I spent far too many years trying to understand His plans instead of surrendering to them. I wanted answers when God was asking me for faith. It reminded me that prior to my arrival here, I prayed earnestly to God to never let go of me and to call me back if I slip away. And He did exactly just that.

The words of Proverbs now speak to me with a depth I couldn’t have understood back then:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5–6 (NLT)

Over the past few months, I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on the last twenty years of my life and how faithfully God has been moulding me into the person He created me to be. Not the person I spent so many years trying to become through my own strength, but someone who is being transformed into the likeness of Christ, walking daily in His grace.

Part of me wishes I had spent less time trying to figure myself out and more time simply trusting God. Somewhere along the journey, I lost the childlike faith I once had.

As I reflected on this, I couldn’t help but think of Simon Peter. After a night of catching nothing, Jesus told him to let down his nets once more. When the nets became so full they began to break, Peter realised he was standing before someone far greater than he had imagined. Overwhelmed by the holiness of Christ and his own unworthiness, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said,

“Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man.” Luke 5:8 (NLT)

Peter’s response wasn’t simply about the miraculous catch of fish. It was the response of a man whose own strength had failed, only to discover that God’s power had been present all along.

I can relate to Peter more than I realised. There were seasons when disappointment, unanswered prayers and unmet expectations caused me to lose sight of the God who had faithfully led me. I thought He had forgotten me because my plans were falling apart. In reality, He was gently dismantling the life I was trying to build so that He could establish the life He had always intended for me.

Jesus didn’t reject Peter because of his weakness. Instead, He called him into a greater purpose. And despite my wandering, my doubts and my attempts to take control, God has done the same for me.

Looking back over these twenty years, I can now see His fingerprints everywhere. Every closed door, every delay, every painful season and every wilderness experience became another tool in His hands to shape my heart. What I once viewed as setbacks were, in fact, moments of preparation. God wasn’t withholding good from me—He was transforming me.

Today, my prayer is no longer, “Lord, help my plans succeed.” Instead, it is, “Lord, make me faithful wherever You lead.”

Because the greatest blessing wasn’t arriving in a new country. It wasn’t achieving the life I had imagined. The greatest blessing has been discovering that God’s presence has never left me, even when my faith grew weak.

As I continue to look back over these past twenty years, I am reminded that my story is still being written. God has never abandoned the work He began in me, and He won’t abandon the work He has begun in you either.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns” Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

Even when our faith falters, His faithfulness never does.

The God who called us is the God who sustains us. He is still working, still refining, still leading, and He always finishes what He starts.