Elize About Faith

“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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There was a line I once heard in a television show that stayed with me long after the episode ended:

“I don’t remember why I married my husband. I loved him then, and I still love him now but I don’t know why I feel so alone.”

Those words settled deep in my heart because, at one point in my own marriage, I felt the same way.

I loved my husband but something had shifted. The warmth I once had for him felt distant. The closeness we once shared seemed buried beneath responsibilities, routines, and unspoken frustrations. Slowly, my thoughts began to change. I found myself focusing on his flaws rather than his strengths. I became critical, easily irritated and quietly discouraged. At my lowest point, I even wondered if our marriage would last. But what I didn’t fully understand then was that sometimes distance in marriage is not the absence of love, it is the result of love that has not been nurtured.

The Blessing and the Strain of Parenthood

Children are one of God’s greatest blessings. Yet, anyone who has walked through early parenthood knows that they also bring a profound shift into a marriage.

Sleepless nights. Constant demands. Physical exhaustion. Emotional and mental overload. In the midst of caring for little ones, it becomes easy to unintentionally neglect the very relationship that created the family in the first place.

There came a time when my heart began to ache, not because I didn’t love my husband, but because I missed us. I missed the laughter, the long conversations, the affection, the simple joy of being close. I missed the way he made me feel seen and cherished.

And in that longing, God gently began to open my eyes.

Children were not the reason our connection weakened, they were an invitation to grow together, to deepen our relationship and to choose love in a new, more intentional way.

Remembering the Covenant

I think what many married couples tend to forget, especially after many years together, is that marriage is not just a relationship, it is a covenant between a husband and wife.

It is a sacred promise designed by God. A union not only witnessed by people, but established and sustained by Him. And like anything sacred, it must be protected.

It is easy to assume that love should feel effortless and that affection should come naturally as it once did. But the truth is, love in a marriage is not sustained by feelings alone, it is sustained by daily choices to hold it together.

The truth is that the enemy hates that union between a husband and wife and will try anything to destroy it. 

The enemy does not always destroy marriages through dramatic moments either. Often, it happens quietly through disconnection, neglect, comparison and unmet expectations. A thought here. A complaint there. A heart that slowly turns inward instead of toward one’s spouse. A marriage without openness and honesty. But God calls us back to not just the memory of love, but to the practice of it.

A Prayer Remembered

I remember a younger version of myself, praying earnestly for my future husband.

I asked God for a man who would love me and our future children. A man who would stand beside me in both strength and weakness. Someone honest, patient, and steady. Someone who could ground me when my thoughts ran wild and remind me of truth when I lost perspective. Someone who could be my voice of reason. I know he won’t be perfect, but he will be enough for me.

And God answered that prayer.

Sadly, for a while somewhere along the way, I had stopped seeing my husband as the answered prayer he truly was. Instead, I began to measure him against my expectations, my emotions, and my temporary frustrations.

But one day Jesus gently encouraged me to pause and reflect on what I have and realized that the man I was questioning, criticising and resented was the very man I once prayed for and the one God chose for me to share my life with.

Rekindling What Was Never Lost

God understands the longing for romance. He created love. He designed affection, intimacy, and connection within marriage, but over time, couples can fall out of rhythm. Not because their love for one another disappears, only that the love takes on a different but deeper form.

Rekindling love does not always require grand gestures. Often, it begins with small, intentional acts such as choosing kindness over anger, speaking words of encouragement instead of criticism, being honest about how you feel, even when it seems like something small, continually praying for your marriage and God’s protection over it.

And sometimes, it begins with something as simple as remembering.

Remembering why you chose each other.

Remembering what first drew your hearts together.

Remembering that love is not just something you feel but that it is something that you live.

Guarding the Heart of Your Marriage

There is a dangerous temptation when emotional needs feel unmet and it’s easy to look elsewhere for fulfillment. It may not begin with action, but with a thought and wandering eyes. And this is often where the grounds are prepared for betrayal in marriage. Comparison. Daydreaming. Wondering “what if.”

But marriage calls us to something so much deeper – commitment beyond emotion, faithfulness beyond circumstance, and love that reflects God’s own enduring nature.

You are not called to a perfect marriage. You are called to a faithful and loving one. A marriage where both husband and wife choose each other daily, to give to one another, not just waiting to receive.

A Gentle Invitation

So let me ask you this:

When was the last time you showed your husband or wife a loving gesture?

Not out of obligation but out of love. Out of gratitude for your union. Out of a desire to reconnect, even in a small way.

Marriage is not meant to be a one-sided relationship. It is a shared and sacred offering. A continual exchange of grace, patience, forgiveness and affection. And sometimes, restoring that exchange begins with one heart willing to take the first step.

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A Closing Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the gift of marriage.

Thank You for the spouse You have given me.

When my heart grows distant, please draw me back.

When my thoughts turn negative, renew my mind.

Help me to see my spouse through Your eyes, with grace, compassion, and love.

Teach me to nurture what You have blessed.

To protect what You have joined.

And to love, not only in feeling, but in action and truth.

Please restore what feels distant,

and strengthen what remains.

We pray this in Jesus’ holy name, 

Amen.

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Love may not always feel the same as it once did but with God at the center, it can grow into something even deeper, stronger, and more enduring than before.