Elize About Faith

“Then Jesus said to his disciples, *‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.’” — Matthew 16:24-25

This passage has repeatedly crossed my path as I’ve sought God. Each time I return to it, my understanding deepens. What once felt difficult to accept has gradually become something I am learning to live by.

Before I intentionally turned back to God, I spent a long time searching for myself. I looked for answers through therapy, self-help guides, mindfulness practices, self-love teachings, and even spiritualism. Yet nothing brought lasting joy, purpose, or peace. Nothing filled the emptiness I carried. I didn’t feel worthy of love.

Psalm 42:1-2 expresses this longing perfectly: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”

It wasn’t until God called me back to Him that I realized what had truly been missing from my life: faith and trust in Him. I had grown accustomed to relying solely on myself and even felt ashamed to lay my mess bare before God. But instead of rejection, I was met with open arms—with patience, love, and gentle guidance.

Through my walk with God, I have discovered that surrender is not the same as loss. When Jesus calls us to “deny ourselves and take up our cross” (Matthew 16:24), it is a call to full surrender: to stop trying to carry the weight of our lives alone and to rest in Him.

As I have immersed myself in Scripture, I’ve begun finding answers to questions I didn’t even know I was asking. Philippians 4:19 reminds me: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” This journey has brought not only comfort and awe for God, but brought a deep understanding that God is Lord over all things, that He loves His people, and that He doesn’t want anyone to perish.

Through God revealing Himself to me, I’ve also realized how little I truly knew Jesus. That realization led me to intentionally seek Him and to know Him, not just know about Him. I have my Bible open in the New Testament to support my journey in getting to know Jesus and what He wants from and for His children. I came to deeply love him, mourning him during His time on earth and feel a deep desire to be in His presence. I am patiently awaiting the day of His return.

Through getting to know Jesus, I began to feel his suffering. The suffering He had on this earth, the suffering He endured on the cross for us. His overwhelming love and compassion for His children. I have been crying the most I have ever cried in my entire life once I got to know Jesus. It is a painful revelation, yet I am filled with a deep sense of peace and love that I have never felt before.

I’ve learned that faith is not only belief; it is relationship, fellowship and commitment. It is daily surrender, trust, and the courage to walk with Him even when the path feels uncertain. It’s accepting that Jesus knows exactly what He wants for my life and that I don’t.

2 Corinthians 5:17 encapsulates this transformation: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

My journey with Jesus has completely changed me. And if anyone should now ask me what my greatest fear is then it won’t be heights, it would be the fear of the Lord and fear of seperation from Him. This journey has been one of discovering that life is not found in self-reliance, achievement, or even self-love alone—it is found in surrender to Him. By letting go of the illusion of control, pushing my pride aside and following Jesus, I have begun to find true life, true purpose, and joy that surpasses understanding.

Reflective Call to Action

Take a moment and ask yourself: What have I been carrying alone that I could lay at God’s feet?

• Is there a part of your life where you are relying only on yourself?
• Are you seeking joy, purpose, or worth in things that ultimately leave you empty?
• What would it look like to trust God fully, even with the mess you’ve been hiding?

Consider writing down your thoughts, praying honestly, and taking a small step toward surrender today. God meets us in the very place where we feel unworthy, lost, or broken. The first step is simply to bring it all to Him and allow Him to lead you into life that truly satisfies.